How Environment and Upbringing Affects Us - WK 2

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, why do they act the way that they do? Have you looked at your own behavior and thought process and wondered WHY do you act the way that you do? The answers to these questions usually lie within two key life traits - where we were brought up, and how!

Being a black woman who was born and raised in a diverse suburb, my upbringing is quite unusual compared to several members of my family, most of my friends and peers. For one thing, I was blessed to have both of my biological parents in my household, and I was born in wedlock… actually, my sister and I were desperately wanted children and our parents mapped out what seemed to be a perfect blueprint for their path to marriage and parenthood. They both worked, got married in the mid to late 20’s, had my sister and I in their 30’s when they were well into their marriage, careers and had a stable home to have children in, and were mature enough to be parents. They planned everything right down to the community they wanted us to be raised in, the schools they wanted us to attend, and the spiritual body we would be affiliated with. All of this helped shape and mold the women my sister and I would become from childhood to adulthood.

We were raised to love God, our family, and those around us. We learned early on that we were not to hate anyone based on their background, race, upbringing and for being different than us, so this current climate we are in now is so difficult for me to navigate through. We were raised to be the best women and to do our best in everything we do. We were told to make no excuses and that everything we want in life is to be earned and worked for. So working hard is in my veins. Feeling sorry for myself is not an option in cases where I may fall short or fail. I get back up, dust myself off, learn from my mishap and keep trying!

I truly get that not everyone has had the privileges I have been blessed with in life. I know plenty of people who have been hit hard by their upbringing and environment. They have had major challenges and setbacks. While a bad day for my sister and me would be not being able to buy a movie or CD we wanted because it was sold out, or not having our famous pizza and wings Friday night because Daddy may have had to work late, for many that I know, their bad days were way worse than mine as a child. I had friends who’s parents weren’t as blessed as mine, or did not have both parents in their home. Many days, my mother made extra lunches and handed out massive pop tarts to our friends who were hungry and had little to no food. A lot of my friends and family who were less fortunate were able to beat their circumstances and made a better life for themselves. Others, unfortunately, succumbed to their environment and circumstances. They didn’t have the strength, support, resources and pep squad to help re-write their story or change the trajectory of their path.

Friends, it is important to recognize that a lot of times, our environment and upbringing plays a pivotal role in our personality and life’s path. Aristotle’s quote “We are what we repeatedly do…” is so true and profound. What we do, who we associate with and our surroundings become part of us. It is important that we have the knowledge necessary to recognize when we are in health and unhealthy environments, and make the necessary changes. Unfortunately, we cannot choose our family, nor can we a lot of times choose our beginnings. We can, however, learn what is beneficial to making sure we have a healthy start and life, and get rid of what harms us. If you did come from an unhealthy environment, make the necessary changes to become better. Don’t allow bitterness and anger about the situation to take over your heart. Love those who were responsible for your upbringing and understand that they likely passed down what they received - but you can break your generational curse.

We all have a choice. Be bitter or be better. Choose the later.

Namaste - DMT